Tuesday, April 18, 2006

update

today i have been walking for one week and one day and it feels like a year! so much has happened and so many km´s have been covered, so many conversations, so many faces and so many thoughts.

As I mentioned in my last post, I had an amazing day on monday in that I was completely miserable all day but had the most amazing time (in hindsight of course). I actually woke up angry and couldnt understand why we were getting up in the dark and walking all day on blistered feet. I set off alone as I needed some time out and then was hit by an unnamed sadness and had a little cry. It rained all day and the going was miserable. It was long and boring and wet and cold. THere was nowhere to stop and I walked for 5 hours not saying a word to anyone all day - mainly b/c i didnt pass an English speaker but after a while i didnt care - I needed to be alone.

And after awhile my thoughts became incredibly fluid and I came up with some mini epiphanies. I hope i can write them all down before I forget about them....... One thing I didn realise in that walking makes your body stonger and your mind looser - thoughts flow with ease and you do not feel alone beacuse there is so much happening in your own head if you let it. Walking with others just doesnt give you that luxury!

At one stage all of my energy and mind was in my boots and on my left shin. I was sore and it was really uncomfortable. I was limping and miserable. After about an hour i was pissed off that I was having to walk all day and all i could think about was my pain. I was then aware of the direct connection between the body and the mind and all day I was able to experience the cliche of "mind over matter"....... and found that there was a direct effect of my mind focussing on my body. The minute I thought about my feet I could think of nothing but my pain. When I saw a sign that said 10km to Los Arcos the road seemed longer than ever and unbearable. I had to make a really conscious decision to move away from the physical for the rest of the day. And what happened was bizarre. I became seperated from the lower half of my body. It actually went numb and I was able to continue despite my limping. Towards the end of the day I had this clear impression that I was marching on confidently like a fantasticly pious pilgrim. After I saw people passing me at a casual stroll, I realised that my feet were actually dragging through the puddles and i wasnt " striding" at all. And even when I realised this my mind still registered that I was marching confidently and i could continue on. The minute I got the alburgue I could do no more than shuffle and limp painfully with ice on my shin. (I was lucky to have a massage therapist there that night and booked in. TUrns out he does kinesiology and reiki and he fixed me completely. I walked with renewed energy today and it was as if yesterday didnt exist.)

There were so many experiences in one day that I cant even describe it. A different emotion each hour, a new challenge to work through as my legs just kept moving, moving, moving towards our next stop. LIke I said yesterday, I did ask WHY and there is no answer to that, but today felt like the first day again and I could barely relate to mondays challenges.

Tomorrow is yet another day on the road and we have thankfully agreed to a shorter day and half day rest in Logroño where I can pick up my mail.

Mum is concerned that I am having a hard time and I guess i need to explain that while this is hard I certainly am so grateful to be here. I am logging the good and the bad here beause I want to make sure I can read all sides in the future too. I will try to make my next post more positive..... I can describe some of the characters Ive met or some funnier stories.

When it doesnt rain there is nothing better than to walk through the fields of miaze with the great expanse of sky overhead, the rolling hills and the distance ancient cities ahead, somewhere along this road we are following.

I now have walked and farewelled some new friends who have invited me to stay in touch - a few girls from Madrid who walked for the easter week, the lovely 20yo lucia from italy who wants me to pick fruit with her somewhere and her friend Innazio who said if I visit, his mum will cook pasta for me. I am still walking with Becky & Robin and Marco. We may seperate before Santiago but know we will stay friends and catch each other somewhere along the walk. We all want to continue on to Finisterre if we are able so you never know.

Thats all for now - thanks for reading and sorry for those who I havent been able to reply to yet! I do love reading your comments though - makes my day

Kel

ps: as an aside, mum told me that she won her grade 4 comp in QLD this weekend and came 3rd in the opens, so a big achievement - very proud of you mum. Also Jonathan clapped for the first time last week - what a clevr kid! Actually at one point I thought about him and how I could do that hours walk for him (you need incentives at times) and I immediately accelerated through the pain! So thanks you JS for your moral support!

PSS: Jo - my blisters are on both feet sadly - so my prediction remains unsubstantiated - excpet that it was my left shin - so that might be somethoing ;)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kells,
So proud of you. You've come a long way babe! Glad to see your head space clearing and clarity shining through! Looking forward to sharing the journey with you.. I am a confirmed born-again-blogger!

Cousin Jo xx

Emma said...

kell- you are do so so well! I love reading your updates as I've said before. You are experiencing so much and will always look back and value this time in your life- it is a wonderful thing that you took the brave step of embarking on this journey, for however long you choose to follow it.
Adam and I now leave in just over a week! I am enjoying updating our blog site too and we really can't wait to hit the road soon!
Love and hugs
Em
xx